Keeping the Edge: Confession of a Reformed Cynic
By Mya Om
Model: Rachael Kileen, Hair & Make Up Artist: Lauren Marler
Original Photography by Nina Pak ©2011
Today I’m one of those annoyingly happy perky people. I have a wide smile and a can do attitude. Nothing can keep me down for long. But I wasn’t always like that, for years I was a caustic, bitter cynic. If there was a cloud in a clear blue sky I could find it. Today I look for the ray of sunshine in the darkest sky. Why the difference? A few years ago, after some very hard times, I realized that is so much simpler to be happy than angry, to be optimistic instead of a cynic – it’s also better for my blood pressure and peace of mind. It was not an easy transformation, nothing worth doing ever is.
Transforming your attitude requires mastery over self and the understanding of transformation as a process. Last year we talked about the Witches’ Pyramid (a.k.a. the Four Pillars of Witchcraft) – to know, will, dare and keep silent. Just as learning the art of magick takes time, effort and will power; so too does changing your life – in fact the two are inextricably linked.
I began my own transformation because I realized my attitude was the biggest barrier I had to getting what I wanted from life – both magically and mundanely. I wanted respect, but I didn’t know how to earn it. I wanted mastery of my craft, but I didn’t understand what it took to get it. It wasn’t until I understood how everything in life is connected, that I understood what I needed to do.
In The Witch of Portobello, by Paulo Coelho, a girl named Athena discovers her own ability to transform her life. It starts with her discovery of her ability to reach spiritual ecstasy or a trance state through dance – a dance that she shared with her coworkers and resulted in the change she desired, it was kismet. The story ends with Athena’s discovery of the divine feminine or the Goddess and her understanding that she was given a glimpse into the transformative force which created the world. Athena’s transformation occurs in stages – as all transformations do. Bit by bit she puts the pieces of herself together until the woman that she is at the end of the story bears no resemblance to the girl she was; and yet at the same time she is more quintessentially herself.
Of course real life is not fiction, but the principle is the same. Transformation is a gift of the goddess; it is the gift of magic. Every spell, every chant, every act of will, is a nascent transformation. If you want it to stick you have to follow it through. Those who understand a bit about witchcraft will tell you: you can’t doubt the success of your working because doubt negates will — and will is the driving force of magic.
Take the idea of will to its ultimate conclusion, and you quickly realize that to be the most successful witch you cannot have doubt, either in your mundane or your magical life. So how does that lead to me giving up cynicism? Cynicism encompasses a long list of behaviors; including pessimism, skepticism, and the belief that everyone is out for his/her own self-interest. All of these attitudes alone can kill a working; together they can destroy a life.
Pick the biggest goal that you could ever have in your life. What have you done to reach it? What set back(s) hold you back? What is stopping you from reaching your goals?
Every single obstacle is a cloud in the blue sky of your life. How you choose to deal with that is up to you. Personally, I prefer to walk in the sun, rather than hide behind a cloud. I am not an especially gifted person, nor have I any unique talent. I just decided I wasn’t going to live a life filled with no(s). “No, I didn’t do this.” “No, I couldn’t accomplish that.” “No, it’s just too hard.” If the word “no” is holding you back, why are you letting it?
Take a few minutes and look at the goal you picked, what is the smallest step you could take towards reaching it? That small step is the little ray of sunshine in your cloudy sky. It is the first step toward ever-increasing transformation. Try it, what do you have to lose?
Categories: Article Archive, January 2012, Keeping the Edge
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